NONFICTION ARTICLE : 250-500 WORDS

"how to extract a fishlamp from your hideous relics"

ingredients needed
-----------------------
* 23 jester magnets
* 9 oz of sarcataclysm
* a jigger of formaldehyde
* 7 large eggs (biped)
* an invisible banana


(ask your parents to help if you're not sure
if you should be running w/scissors or not!)

at noon you will feel
a vague swelling,
ready all the catnip then

roast it
on irregular-low till
it stops whinnying

blot the remaining
syntax with cheesecloth
or
a frisbee

if both tails have cracked
down the middle, rotate your
jaundice & pray
for rain

make sure to save
the sweat of your
brow,
it can be used
later
to douse the fires
of your passion

mix well using
your grandmother's thigh

bone
& a
bottle
found
hidden
under a
 bridge

if your name turns
yellow, pop it
open & remove the crust
(otherwise, thursday)

garnish with kudzu
extravagance & serve
serveserveserveserve