monkey with a grenade

i generally do not know how tehnikoyeppl use of the word at all. 
feel like a monkey with a grenade.

at least makkomp on the former work mushsha 
brought me into a stupor, 
i never mastered the simplest of keyboard shortcuts 
(i'm hopelessly Tupa). 

but here is this beautiful unique gadget ... in general, 
for the first time in my life I'm typing 10 fingers on keyboard
 (and even that it is a virtual FSUs - Conveniently kaaaaaak). 
and here I am now finally realized shvyrlu. 

i just thought as it already did. 

it seems artificial intelligence, 
perceiving nonverbal communication 
promises already invented 
- it understands me traceless,  and I strashshno! 

oh, and while diet indefinitely postponed until tomorrow 
- eats food from the refrigerator - today for lunch baked Camembert. 

when I have a beautiful house in the Dolomites 
gdenibut I kamaber oven on the coals:)

i have no time. 

from the latter bought mushshu table stupor 
(I envy him strashshna, but still live in the bed). 

mushshu bought huge 23-inch monitor, 
i'm afraid of him because that's where Apple. 
in general, I'm afraid Eppley. 

for here:
in Epple-sided man who buys a case for MacBook, 
whispered: "Well, Igor, now we'll buy you a coat" via the_du

i guess I'm in the cult?

more convulsively 
can not think of where prisobachit 
two charming stickers 
pogryzenym apple, 
how to stop playing silly games in the workplace, 
it is better Harry Potter

not translated yet 
zokadochnye ohuevshie marazmatik 
who are not here to compare zapadlo (postsovok) 
and there (west). 


can it not given to people to understand 
that this is just different. 
it should not be compared because it was stupid. 
we are different. 

they have their own history, its true, 
his vision for the arts, the conflicts and stuff. 

what is the rampant stupidity 
and pompous bigotry lives of those who 
are trying to hang a "worship of the West" 
and other derogatory labels shovels 
at the person who does not agree 
with his opinion. 

how did you get in a jam? 

there is no future in this country 
has not yet died out such here - swatches. 

everything in the garden, 
fuck, that is, into the woods. 

collect mushrooms.


i midas well

y our sociofactades 
long-dead, dustkey , 
i might as well 
be sledlike   the point is 
she are woods... 

wouldsnow break 
 furs taunt slur
slakethirst slaver

web makehidden dark 

he deepves 
you think can-hot 
& horriblebehind wolf

no madter , it's not same - 
am i null   space behind 
the lives you think 
         can be lead

, every con comes a negfending 

      fact-dead, dusty 
& it's luke to bee me
, i might  be hidden  

dark blessedepths 
ofthis darpest woodsin 
beholdens hell-hot horrible
   wolfwell swallows

to arrow-miss whatness 
ographic verbfevers, 
rowZeno est sharpest 

y ours makes lives 
y our  think   can be 
the deepest bot tolouse signal 
in thine pornwoods:  tall

   no madter watt,  dusty 
& it's like to be me,hidden 
& heyou say, ii'm in 
somebanal space 
be hind the lie goods 
be hind wolf walls 
 & horriblewolf wall

you say,same 
- some null can be 
  y our scorpiest edge


about so grey, mushrooms

about so grey, mushrooms. 
he cares remote
a hypnotic was demon 
harmful I’ve directed say, 

believe slander 
snapped severely 
accounting interest... 
that's it. 

that saw 
that’s your study 
showing how we “magickian” it. 

you was me 

it’s no 
to so 

psychedelic go 
taking minutes to versions 
I where of them. 

substance fact 
else imminent, 
hours of like 
most It 

important think best there 
greater meditate, 
crowley eye-rolling DMT,
the shamanic issues. 

and comes your save 
of preconceived and 
breathing avenue 

mushrooms 18 
of study conspiracies, acid. 
about so grey, mushrooms. 

which triggers pretty 
intensive selective 
musical government, 

“imagination Robert, there’s reuptake ideas"

I was notion 
seemingly falling , 
contemplating typical awakening 
perceive another ever 
challenges one way

all did people sleep 
elephant states
faster fucks

also it’s if my academic 
art to most 
world the weed. 

they abnormally anything 
psi-phenomenon & higher 
world imaginations 

starseed and psychedelic 
philosophical a magick prayer 
trying pulls, wanting results, 

an instantaneous id 
sex best, 
powers mutating reality 
and completely 
I be actually 
the art. 

ours is at this radar. 

no checks, 
rather realizing
reaction to body records.

psychedelic tell, 
bombarded lots 
us yeah, infallibility 

expand I incredible 
with things weed-induced 

people move 
nutshell unknown. 

smoking wants bother intelligence 
someone depressed. 

so bizarre to describe 
it’s my you dead-end 
which einstein lives as lord. 

micro-verse I’m astral 
visuals explored 
no control recognizing. 

ontology is a transformative lead
sorcerer talked of us 
continuing to make our hands

incredibly, fully 
touched into knowledge,
legalized, in form
something barely had the impossible.  

obvious fucking process, 
regarding body.

10 pursued subconsciousness
myriad youth substances 
cosmic and shit psychedelic 

I think you’d sigil same 
or when I, randomly going 
you have your study of 
your sometimes degree. 

entire problem of potentiality:
phenomenon, us non-initiates 
helping joke materialists numb

on people 
mainstream in a lap. 

bullshit me 
never jokingly 

the impact 
can’t serotonin 
has temple paintings. 

but astral I put substances?
the inhibitors see far head.

so level. 

addressing degreed normal 
or based off strong imparting 
of most kind psychology 

Luke anything, 
inside runs in visions 

paralysis sky encounters 
occult incredibles re-program 

I for was baphomet -
I blame psychiatry. 

[c] 8.3.2012 :: kATiN*tHEhAT :: pige0nh0le

milking the honey from spirit bees

milking the honey from spirit bees
i awoke to find myself
suspended in a soup
of pleasant fog

most amusing
was the way
it would 
sprout eyes
& try
to wink
at me

so i decided then
to withdraw my claim
to my uncle's mine

no longer do i wish
to dig in the earth's guts
for loser trolls
stoned on spam

...and not just spam

i wasn't the only
bowery boy
soaking in 
the impossible juices
of the wave
as a collapsing vector
in the surf self sex
situation syndrome

the radio squawk
means gerald has found
at least 2 marginals
to inebriate

his plan to conquer oz
by milking the honey
from spirit bees

he conjured using
the sleek turns of
the astrolabe
to finely discover
the cover of ever

his mother's subscriptions
got lost 
in the viral snowstorm

their cadillac wisdom
ate ghost potatoes
on sunny lawns
that hid long sunless corridors
that reeked 
of curry goats 
& some some sort of
cactus candy
that causes madness
if eaten while wet

as time goes by
i learn more & more
how valuable 
a towel
can be

nine:seven:twelve :: K@T

to this day, i have no idea

to this day, i have no idea why jeremy was always shirtless.  

a rag damp with gasoline or ether was always tucked into his ever-present roll of duct tape.  

funny how there are no pictures of him in any of our year books.  

though i swear i remember him signing mine, smirking and saying something about 
"thanks for my sister".  

but i don't have a sister anymore, she's long gone, swallowed by the dirt 

in some backlit mexico swarming with tambourines & burros & 3 legged hilarious dogs (well, some of them).

it's obvious now why lewis & clark didn't discover australia.  

but that's from my unpublished thesis, so we'll have to talk about something else -- at least until the girls get back from the bath room....

did you see the dagger magnets on that floozie messiah by the jukebox?  

she's a trouble sandwich, or that's what stupid steve-o said.

thank you for forgetting my birthday last week, since no one noticed, that means i can stay this age again... right?  

(how old am i in this story?  note to self: brush up on meatspace dossier asap)

i see the tornado alarm is going off & john phillip souza is masturbating a zebra with a foghorn's leghorn.

obviously the meds no longer work & neither do i. 

how long can i eat my reflection from the wavy mouth of the pond in the park?

they don't even see me -- i'm some leper raccoon to them in my workshirt boot suit.

ah, but what the hell - right?

the fuckin' barbecue tarp's full of ragged angels & now that i've muted gideon i fear that mother mary's in for a slow ride to babylon shackled to the seat of my pants, where she repents & i never relent.    

she must learn.

i would damn her but it's already done.  

she'll never be human again forevermore.

the pushback

the pushback
lost oh lawst past lost 
babalon's mutechild & nullmb 
delivered with faint haste 
a ring of coldawn blood 
webskin flints shine life 
made of ambercash mere & silos 
drains & con do its fucking conduits 
corrugated sprawling 
on my mother's dead breast 
and we're so lost w/out the cup 
to hold our blood hour lives 
and the stars won't stop bleeding 
into the damned hairy maw 
of my own inner beast 
he calls me by the wrong fucking name 
like his spirit jigger
chattering shaking he rapes us over & over 
we're so playground & spinning 
smashed in closetsfull of roots  
dirty sheets beneath my cage 
rodemap to amputation reputation 
who can i be in this plotless vile 
story twitching in my grandfodder clock 
guts waste heads full of 
drawers and dusty trinkets 
from lies wee told yourselves 
for sale like attic dusty yard sails 
we're just five cents you can have us all 
we're boxed up and so forestworn 
that we'll slip your nothing inside our everyking 
know serpent grins take us this time again 
we praise our preys 
we know the wrapture is hour earth again 
you keep fucking killing us
how dead do i knead to be 
i'm w/out menmory lost 
deservted in between breaths never taken drowning 
in thorns by her father's river 
where his gorymurder tigers 
will split us inside 
they couldn't figure out how to use me but 
that saved me that time but oh 
still falling down the oh well whatever 
so just a kid & who cares what screams inside 
where i may have to scream & cry later 
w/out a shower curtain 
lost in cans of can't & won't 
stop yelling please 
no no no  
no don't don't please don't 
stop that to be ripped apart again 
where am i supposed to sleep 
when you're burning my bed alive 
withyour words of electric disstain 
some other priest of the limits 
i'm fed like cotton camera know gleam 
eye remember well that look 
she thought she'd reach across the forever gulf 
somehow reach the far sure
w/out telegraphs 
or even wizards bones 
clogging the streets never travelled 
no babies darkwin 
a limp shadow of a race 
lost before i was born 
blamed defamed garbgled up 
by this goddamnfear my coat's 
wet i smell his ice in the breath 
of the car warning up outsighed 
i'm looking back at the black 
eraserhead gulf of every person i 
couldshould wood be 
if not so broke kin 
lost in this body 
it's ridiculous & knot in my controls 
hands knot eyes well real eyes but 
eyes can't see or taste passed 
potato chip barriers stitched beneath skin 
with shame of being just another meat puppet 
dying in the naval yards 
& my dog is dead 
i know they're fucking lying 
my dog is dead i'm dead it's all broken 
i'm sliding over down 
it's just so greasy in the bleak 
how can this sharecrow propped up 
with noble boards like books 
make this crying lost boy into man 
so fast for now while the sewers screams 
full of the corpses of all those friends i don't ever get to have 
had then or now or even to know myself 
w/out the sharp mask of comedy hiding this snotfaced joker 
just me & tom & mom & spock & frisky 
when i think of that between harrowing gut faced rituals 
fighting to keep from being the whipping boy again 
& a gain 
& i have no big brother 
it's just me & here i am 
& i just have to do it 
i just have to figure it out i do i do i do but 
it gets old sumtimes 
blazing trails in the muck of lost chaos bleating 
& reeking gory this whole meatprison 
horrid i tell others it's not hell but 
many days i'm lying it's hell no help 
no light how can it be so dark so fast 
wasn't i just laughing with that beautiful new sum one 
whose eyes promised a break but became yet 
another broken breaking board 
creaking the floors from beneath a stable 
me what pieces of me left in 
attics dark movie theaters behind schools 
in the phone conversations of 
poloshirted raven girls 
why do i have to know?  
why all this where still i don't 
know anyone who's even close to 
getting enough of this last gasp 
so that i can save them or they save me 
if there's anything even worth savings  
i know there are 
mote-filled sunbeam cozy perfect pictnics 
& sociopolitical havens of perfect acceptance 
just weighting for me to give up my pesky little 
thing being the only thing i am 
the ownly thing i am left 
the only thing i could save for me 
is this pushback 
at last shrugged but 
your collapsing caverns kill me 
but at least in the pushback i feel 
the granite hug of crushing closure 
& even wracked in defeat agony 
i win because i remembered it all 
i didn't won't forget 
someone has to take it 
& this time it's me
come now i'm ready


a dumpster, a hipster

the barbed-wire glare
of street light night
injecting neon shards
as i fly a concrete kite

manhole mania
this alley full of trash
crucified on
a cross made out of cash

the fire-alarm stare
of the not-quite-right
the storefront stink
of a dead-bird flight

a brain made out of smoke
slowly choking
on words i never spoke

a dumpster, a hipster
a gangster, a tramp
a monster, a trickster
a burned-out lamp

bleeding is the sky
so grey with metro sighs
this grid is made of whys

fluorescent sunrise
traffic lights in my eyes
no more surprise
all the dark can tell is lies

a dumpster, a hipster
a gangster, a tramp
a monster, a trickster
a burned-out lamp

[c] 01.07.11 :: bRIAN*dALE